Now that I Have Breast Cancer Do I Have to Run All Of THOSE Runs?

5 Weeks Post Bilateral Mastectomy

As a competitive runner, the first thing that entered my mind when I was told that I had Breast Cancer was 'Crap. Now I have to run all of those freaking cause runs!' Now don't get me wrong, cause runs aren't bad, they do so much good. Whether their purpose be to cure some disease, feed some of the hungry or save some puppies; they are all worth while, just not for runners.

There is nothing worse than trying to weave your way through a bunch of well meaning cause runners who decide to walk five people wide on a bike path as you are trying to get through. I have on several occasions been known to curse, push and or flat out run over these people with a sense of entitlement and a sick satisfaction that carries me to the finish line at least a hour before them. Of course that was then. Would I be the same now that I was wearing the pink survivor cap? Would I feel the need to walk arm and arm with my sisters for the cause?

The answer, I ashamed to say is no. I am who I am to the core. Breast Cancer or not.

 That is how I found myself five weeks after my bilateral mastectomy at the Los Angeles Revlon 5K for Breast Cancer. My friends convinced me that I needed to go and I convinced myself that not only did I need to go, I needed to run...the whole damn thing! So strapped with my cancer sign to my back and my survivor cap on my head, I said goodbye to my family at the start line and took off. If people were wishing me well along the way, I couldn't tell you. I was in a zone, a very determined, aggressive, fight of my life kind of zone. One that had me weaving in and out of the walkers, cursing them and maybe throwing the slightest push or two as well. Why were these people in my way? Didn't they know that I needed to run? As I neared the finish line and so many were walking arm and arm, I was in a full out sprint like it was the race of a lifetime. I needed to finish strong with some sense of who I was still intact. To prove that my body may have changed but that I haven't.

After the race I doubled back and found my family about two miles back, I finished the race again. This time with them. Arm in arm, and I finally understood all of those walkers I had cursed so many times before. It was in that moment, crossing the finish line with my husband, my daughter and my son that I finally understood the cause run and realized that it had nothing at all to do with actual running.